So today, I am going to share my response to one of my group members when she asked me the question in regard to her struggle with managing employees.
She is the manager of the company and she has around 10 staff to look after. She just started her job about 3 months ago and she is faced with an enormous amount of demand from employees that she feels is too much to handle, she is sacrificing a lot of her life which causes collateral damage to her health.
Going back a bit, I had a chat with her about a month ago and I was quite worried about her work situation because she briefly mentioned her being too busy, but in that conversation space, she seemed okay at that time.
Well to be honest, she looked tensed and frustrated and stressed out a bit, but she was very proud of herself for being able to handle the situation considering the amount of time she spent being a manager.
Fast forward to yesterday, I had a chat with her again and I found her not in a good space at all. I was not surprised though as I know the life pattern that always kicks in to put her in a difficult situation. Anyway, here is her question and my answer followed:
I got a question, do you ever feel like you don’t want to see or talk to your employee? I can feel sometimes I was hiding in the office just to avoid seeing them as I was exhausted from lots of requests from them and I know it’s not right.
Hello! Thanks for your question and I am glad that you show up your authenticity as you have been through this question.
Before I get into my reply, I just wanted to ask you if you are ready to overcome this challenge. I will share my authenticity without any wrappings around my message so it might hurt you, sting you, or cause you uneasy, but please go on reading it if you are ready to face it.
So my answer is Yes, and I get frustrated and quite stressed out by my employee because of the word they choose to communicate with me sounds rude or quite untidy or it feels pushy or too demanding.
Every time I feel that sensation or feeling coming up, I tried to create space to reflect my inner space and process the pain to understand what this is all about.
What I mean by that is those things happening outside yourself are the external trigger that activates your internal trigger which we call our tendency to come forth. Body sensation or intimacy, an awkward feeling that hasn’t come out into the world will be called out from those actions like your employee does.
In that sense, those feelings can be seen as a great opportunity given by the universe to show up in front of you to look at and demand you to understand what you really need to face because everything that happened to your life is the direct reflection of your inner living space.
This may be very difficult to accept and acknowledge at first, but how you will perceive it and what perspective you use to judge will determine if you want to be in the driver’s seat for your life or ask someone to dictate your car if that makes sense.
Here I will try to be as authentic as you are to respect and appreciate your honesty. When you are in a manager position, the most important relationship to manage is YOU and it sounds like you have been working so hard to achieve the result within a short span of timeframe, but that comes with sacrificing your life.
You won’t ever be happy if you can’t manage yourself no matter how well you manage people in your place because it feels neglected, abandoned, unacknowledged, unappreciated, and unrecognized which leads to blaming other people and shaming yourself for doing that sometimes.
So the most important part of management is to develop a great relationship with yourself which is often neglected and manage it with humanity. I don’t believe the description of the management position goes like you need to manage your employee EXCEPT YOU right?
If you don’t manage yourself, that means those who are managed by you won’t be managed. It is not a skill set, strategy, or tactics, but it is to accept the commitment that has to be made to start with you managing your space including physical, mental, spiritual, and financial health through time, pain, and money management.
And you have to truly understand and be super clear about what picture you want to paint as an ideal situation so that you can think about what needs to be done to achieve success.
For example, if you are working 7 days a week and you appreciate that you need at least 2 days off to keep a good relationship with your health, then you need to demand it. I understand it is not totally your discretion to design the work environment you want to work in because you are working in the company, BUT you can still make a request which is under your control.
They might say Yes or they might say No, but whichever result comes leads to the next space for you to determine what action you can take.
However in reality, and unfortunately, people in management position in many companies are in a similar situation from my understanding and either they compromise their health to make money or just leave when they come to the point that they can’t continue anymore.
But it is people who have a choice to make. No company forces people to pick up management positions. Ultimately, it will be us people who accept the gap between ideal and reality and compromise or surrender to the current situation at least for the short span to achieve what we want.
Anyway, I can feel the message that the undercurrent of this situation happening around you is a reminder from the universe warning you to look at if you are managing to develop the relationship with yourself or neglecting it.
Think about what happened last year. What led you to this situation? You have worked so hard and negotiated with the management of the company, expressing unapologetically your intention and vision with sincerity and humanity that brought you this position. You guided yourself this opportunity to earn you a right to apply and you chose to grab it.
Another long shot again and thank you for reading so far. I am 100% confident that you can come out stronger from this situation with clear intention and vision via wisdom and courage from your potential. You have already enough tools to fix the situation. But nothing will change unless you use it. I believe in you 100% that you can overcome this through your human revolution. I appreciate you showing up to share your challenge that gives us hope and courage to take action together.
I understand my message might not be your favorite flavor for you, but hope my answer makes sense, and helps you feel the takeaway you can find in my message to take one action.